It's War by MBLAQ

as much as this post contradicts my last one..i dont care..i jst needed to vent out..im sorry..

have you ever read back on all those messages a year ago..on fb i mean..some how i miss the girl that is always mad at me abt everything..cuz at least i knw what you feel..now..it seems like..i don't knw anything..i knw you are definitely going to be annoyed by me saying this, i guess because you feel pressured..but i wont be saying these things..if im ok..the fact is im not..and somehow..i dnt think you knw that..i dnt mean you should contact me 24/7..but at least..ask me how i am, how your day went, hows exam..cuz when we went out 3 days ago..you didnt ask me how i was..i had to tell you..like im forcing my whole life on you..i feel like im nothing..you're probably annoyed by now..and i probably deserve it..putting you through all this on your vacation..its not fair i put this on you..its not..but its not fair that you never seem to put anything on me either..i dont want us ignore each other..i want us to talk..i dont want us to be annoyed with each other..i want us to listen..i dont want us to scream at each other..i want us to laugh..like we used to..i want to be used..i want to be your punching bag..i am your sacrificial lamb..and i dont think you understand that..i am always here for you..but yet you keep walking away and turn to someone else..have you ever thought of me? of how i feel? of how i am?

to feel like a piece of thread on your clothes..being there every time..covering you from the sun..taking it all in..but instead you put on a sweater, or a jacket..and not use me..

as horrible as anology as that was..its true..i feel wasted..i feel abandoned..i feel dead..

but the moment i see you..i hope and pray..that you would ask me, say something abt me, ask anything abt me..but nothing happened..every time my hopes reaches the highest peak..it fell back rolling on rocky surface, tumbling and crashing..

i need you in my life..dont you understand that?