Love the Way You Lie by Eminem feat Rihanna

i told everyone that we were alright..people came asking for advice, i gave my own relationship as an example..but in the end..ironically..my own relationship was in trouble..

you fought for me..i really appreciate that..seriously..the fact that you had no feelings for me but still want to be with me, to hopefully gain it back..is..amazing..and i thank you for it..

we left on good terms..which is what amazed me..im still ok..i think..it just hasnt sunk in like really sunk in..i knw i will be in my depressed mode soon..but at the moment no..

2 years is a long time..i jst cnt believe..that after everything we went through..in the end..we're still not together..funny..

i love you..so much..and i will never find another like you..you were so special to me..for me..in my life..past, present and future..

im so lost at the moment..cuz you were always there..in my life..now you're there no longer..i don't knw what to do..its weird..its scary..

thats it then..later..

Warrior & Power by B.A.P

loL! am in love with this korean boyband..they are really good..the sound, the song, the dance..best, absolute, perfect..haha..awesome!

now..i hv nothing much to talk abt, everything has been going well..you cn ignore the last post about all those emo-ish feeling..though..it was real..just ignore, hahaha..

going to look for a job soon, preferably a tuition center where at least i can gain experience in teaching along the way, kumon is good..but you dnt actually teach..you're more like tutoring...which is not fun..

i want to stand in front and speak and teach..not sit at the desk and wait until the kids come and ask how to do this..though it is apart of teaching..its just that, im hoping to gain more..

so..

im thinking of going to look for one at my past tuition centers which i attended, hopefully i can land a job there part time for 2 months or so..if i still cnt get that..then my other option is to work at a game store..or Baskin Robbins, though ridiculous fun..its not up my alley yet..

so yeah..thats my dilemma at the moment, i was actually going to post a list of my favourite action cartoons, not animes, but cartoons, hence the title..loL! but somehow i got sidetrack and bored..so yeah..

LATER!!!

It's War by MBLAQ

as much as this post contradicts my last one..i dont care..i jst needed to vent out..im sorry..

have you ever read back on all those messages a year ago..on fb i mean..some how i miss the girl that is always mad at me abt everything..cuz at least i knw what you feel..now..it seems like..i don't knw anything..i knw you are definitely going to be annoyed by me saying this, i guess because you feel pressured..but i wont be saying these things..if im ok..the fact is im not..and somehow..i dnt think you knw that..i dnt mean you should contact me 24/7..but at least..ask me how i am, how your day went, hows exam..cuz when we went out 3 days ago..you didnt ask me how i was..i had to tell you..like im forcing my whole life on you..i feel like im nothing..you're probably annoyed by now..and i probably deserve it..putting you through all this on your vacation..its not fair i put this on you..its not..but its not fair that you never seem to put anything on me either..i dont want us ignore each other..i want us to talk..i dont want us to be annoyed with each other..i want us to listen..i dont want us to scream at each other..i want us to laugh..like we used to..i want to be used..i want to be your punching bag..i am your sacrificial lamb..and i dont think you understand that..i am always here for you..but yet you keep walking away and turn to someone else..have you ever thought of me? of how i feel? of how i am?

to feel like a piece of thread on your clothes..being there every time..covering you from the sun..taking it all in..but instead you put on a sweater, or a jacket..and not use me..

as horrible as anology as that was..its true..i feel wasted..i feel abandoned..i feel dead..

but the moment i see you..i hope and pray..that you would ask me, say something abt me, ask anything abt me..but nothing happened..every time my hopes reaches the highest peak..it fell back rolling on rocky surface, tumbling and crashing..

i need you in my life..dont you understand that?

Fantastic Baby by Big Bang

wow..dead as a blog can be..how long has it been..hows everyone doing? good? still flying? still living?

awesome..

i've been doing good..hard..but good..long distance is tough..i realised that from the get go..but i never understood it.until it really happened..crazy..

for a clingy bastard like myself..i tend to be annoying cuz i message too much and call too much..

but..my gf..she said the most amazing thing to me..when a friend of hers asked her..

"are you ok with zaki? i mean he seems sorta clingy..too clingy.." the friend said..
she replied "i know, and im happy that he's clingy with me and not some other girl"

i lit up..

literally..my heart was filled with flowers that it can become a garden at that moment..

you know when read those instagram or hipster pictures, that said..when you meet someone who loves you for your imperfections, it means they really love you..

and i never get those..until..she said that..

im so happy i found her..im so happy i met her..im so happy im with her..

p/s: i may not yet reach the pinnacle of my relationship, namely marriage, but i think i have the right to say...i went through tough times..and i mean tough times to finally find the right one..whose to say you wont find yours through everything you went through..

so yeah..good luck..cheers..have fun, take care..

LATER!!!