You Know My Name by Chris Cornell

3 o'clock..

yup im doing it again...like my last post..hmm..i wonder if you're getting tired of me..of me always making you angry before going to sleep..of me picking fights with you..of me hurting you over and over and over again..

it must be tiring..

hmm..im sorry..i love you with all my heart i do..but the more i try not to hurt you, i unintentionally do so..its annoying..i try so hard to make you happy..but again it blows in my face as i end up making you mad or hurt you..

i dnt want to let you go..i want you with me, i want you to be with me..i want you to fully appreciate me..are you still willing to accept me as who i am? this annoying, hurtful, fight picking man? are you still wanting to be believe in me? trust in me? be in love with me?

i know..i shouldn't be asking this..but im jst afraid of losing again..im so sorry nurasnina abdul razak..i love you so much..really2 do..im sorry..

Later~~

Powerless by Linkin Park

am i right in this path? should i have chosen the other where i am on safer, more comfortable waters? i don't know..i have never been in such a situation before..i want to get out of it..i don't know what to do..yes..part of me is with her..with the future..but the other part, the promises, the memories, its there..

should i actually just walk away from all of it..should i just turn a blind eye and not go back to it..just leave it as it is..the past..

i just feel so hopeless, careless, powerless..

what am i suppose to do? what should i do? should i ask her? did i think this through? Yes it hurts, it effing does..but my head has not been right since that day..i have not been myself, i have been angrier, fuzzier, crazier..getting more and more emotional by the day..

how i wonder if im like this if i chose the other way..how i wonder if i will still be like this if i had chosen the past..its not regret..its more of curiousness..and doubt..its harder with you yes..its what i needed yes..its what i have...yes..its what i have..

im scared to feel hurt again, to be robbed again..but whose to say the same won't happen if i go back..whose to say that the waters are maybe just a calm before a storm..its all there..the risk, the heartache, the pain..it will always be there..but with whom? to whom? of whom? are those storm for..

I watched you fall apart.
and chased you to the end.
I'm left with emptiness.
that words cannot defend.
You'll never know what I became because of you.
Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose.

they say its always about the journey not the destination, but what if the journey and the destination isn't what we had in mind at all? what then?

later..

Love Bites ( So Do I) by Halestorm

DO NOT MISS TYPE THAT BAND'S NAME OR SONG!

loL! i cnt stress enough how much i love this song and the band at the moment..such an empowering song, its at the moment is my comfort song..

i went to a rampage of emotional sorts these 3 weeks which is crazy..loL! im ok..and i would love to thank those that was there for me..there are so many people..and as much as i want to acknowledge everyone, one by one..

im just afraid i might left out someone..which is what i dont want to do..see..i appreciate them all..i love them all..and the reason why im no longer in an emotional wreck is because of them...

you see during my time when i was being emo..there were people who were looking for me for comfort and advise, but i selfishly turn them away..and i don't want to do that..thats not me..

so yeah..the reason why im no longer in self pity is because of them..i want to help them..and if im like emo..i cnt do so..so yeah..loL!

everyone in my life means so much to me..and i cnt express how much they mean to me..cuz its impossible..all i can say is the 3 famous words, the 3 words i used to say to HER, now im saying to all of you..

I Love You..and thank you..so much for being apart of me..thank you so much everyone.. :)

LATER!!