Invincible by Adelitas Way

being hurt..or getting hurt...or causing hurt...is no longer an option..

you will end up hurting someone while trying to save another...its jst a simple life fact that cant be changed..

i was too naive to believe i could...

i know now i cant..

and i realise now..that i've hurt people so much more than saving them...its hard...its painful...its excruciating...

its hard to cope to the fact that you have the best on intentions to protect, to take care, to be there basically for them...but you end up hurting them...im not invincible i know...im not immortal..and basically im not a superhero..

a superhero can get away with destroying a few buildings by beating the bad guy and saving lives..

a normal person gets alienated trying to beat the bad guy and destroying buildings...even if they save lives...


i have made promises back then that seem so easy to do...now i know how big the pond is...i cant keep em...

its not intentionally..i swear...its jst...difficult...

" But EVERYONE else can, why cant you?"

because im not like everyone else, thats why i cant...i have the utmost respect towards them that can..but thats just not who i am at the moment..

"people do change huh?..."

i guess so...and i realise its not up to everyone else to determine if we change for the better or the worse..its up to ourselves...see...a chameleon changes colour to suit its environment...and at times the colour seems a bit off...but he changed nonetheless to suit his own purpose...his own objectives..not the environments...he merely suits with it...but not merge with it...get me?

so yeah.. i may have change..but im still zaki...

LATER!!!!

Numb by Linkin Park

yesterday i (actually we..hee...) celebrated my 10th month monthlyversarry with her...and..also..celebrated a widely anticipated reunion full of LOLs and ridiculousness as usual..courtesy of Jwa, Nas and Syafiq..

it was the first time THEY met HER...hahaha...ok basically i should introduce her first...SHE is Puteri Suhaila..she's been with me for 10 months now..and though we had our own share of tough times...we're still holding strong...

so yeah..the day started out well i guess..even though we were late..and even though we didnt catch a movie..but still we ate at this Korean Restaurant..i cnt remember the name..owh yeah...we went to Sunway Pyramid btw..so yeah this Korean Restaurant is inside Asian Avenue..do check it out..it was ok i guess..

so yeah..SHE was absolutely nervous...because jwa and nas and syafiq as you all know..are my bestest buds...so yeah..i guess she was worried on making a good impression i guess..

but the day was fabulous...we went to the photo booth and took pics..it was hilarious..cuz the machine died as soon as we finished...hahaha...so we had to do it all over again...hahaha...

but yeah...yesterday...was a great day for me personally i get to meet up with my best of friends and be with my girlfriend to celebrate us being 10 months together...owh and i bought a new shirt too...i'll post up that one later...heee...i love it!

LATER!!!

Off the Wall by Michael Jackson

Trust...

damm it...trust is somethin really hard to built..but so fucking easy to destroy..
i lost trust in my self..SHE does too..

im tired...i love her...puteri suhaila..she means the world to me..

and i want to protect her and be with her as much as possible..and as tired as i am..i wont let anyone ruin this..
i wont let anyone ruin my relationship with her..i dont want to lose her at all...

it was hard enough she nearly left me..but now its my time..i need to shine..i neeed to get her trust back...
her love for me..i know she loves me..she told me...but she's too scared to show it now..and it was my fault to begin with...

i promise you...this isnt a phase..me being with you isnt jst a small phase for me..or even..a partner jst to pass on for matriks...i love you suhaila...more than anything...and if you're reading this..know that..i am...trying and working my best..i will grit my teeth and take all the hate and all the sarcasm you give and all the remarks you have of me..i would..i will go through everything to earn back your trust...

im hoping and praying that my plan for us would work..cuz being with you is neither a distraction nor a perfection..but its just beautiful on a different level, happiness on new heights, and love...on the truest of true..