pics of 1st of mei

hey remember when i told you that i had a dinner with my parents to celebrate their 26th anniversarry, well here's the pics..

owh and we ate at Asian Style at SACC
this is just a view from the room my parents stayed in at the concorde hotel, shah alam looks so green from up here

this is the dish i got for myself, and of course its a fried rice

thats my brother, Zayd, and my Big Sister(no pun intended) is Nadjwa

me mom and me dad with me younger sis Nadya


well those were the pics i managed to take, there were quite a lot of moments where i just sat quite and wasnt in much of a mood as you might have read

SHoutOuT:

1. to Fasnor: batak lah ko ni! haha! laen kali jgn bace org punyer blog kalau x paham, x pasal2 ko marah aku sbb x paham kenape, haha!
2. to Farah: welcome back, hope you had fun there? did you catch the flu btw? just asking, i mean just want to be on the safe side, loL! jk
3. to Harinder: i might be going to taylors as they're psychology programme is much cheaper there than segi, so yeah

well thats it, i gtg

LATER!!!

rejection

im not smart, i aint a rocket scientist or even a brain surgeon

im not a top student or even a valedictorian

im not the best in what i do or even the top 10

i live my life the way i feel it should be living

yes i've regretted a lot of my actions

bt im also proud of my acomplishments

and all i need from both of you is just recognition

see me as me, not as a your dream son

i want you to look at me and not have that disappointing look in you

that sympathetic eyes, those hurtful gestures

whatever i have done, what ever i did, as cliche as it sounds

i did it for both of you!

bt you just dont see that, i still remember my first prize for being in the top 10 student in my grade at my primary school

bt on that we had to go back to our hometown, i told both of you that i will go up on stage on that day

but you guys said that they wont do that to no 10 student, they only do it to the top 3, you guys cant even delay our departure till lunch hour just for me, just to see me up on the stage

so we departed early, the next week after the ceremony one my class teacher gave me my trophy and a certificate that i could've gotten on that day

bt i didnt care maybe cuz i was young back then, so i didnt care

bt then both of you still did it, you missed my kawad kaki, my f1 thing, even my pmr and spm results

bt here's the good part, every single thing my younger sister achieved, you're oh so proud of it! you went to her pmr results, to her first time participating on the track meet, to her anugerah kecemerlangan, to her nasyid recital, to almost everything you guys never been to mine you went to hers

fine call it jealousy or wtv! she's smart i admit it, the last one in the family, the baby of the family, the most loved

so where does that leave me, a reject? a third wheel? a free loader? a FAILURE!?

they say that parents are never not proud of their children, bt how come mine are so ashamed of me

im not in much of a mood to talk or to be answering calls, so please if YOU(you knw who you are) are reading is please just let me be...

later..

1st of Mei...

1st of mei, without a doubt one of my most weird out day

woke up early today, played my game just to pass the time till 12 o'clock

the time when the upu results came out, i took a brake for a while went downstairs, drank my tea, watch tv for a short while, finding nemo was on, my enthusiasm towards the movie didnt overcame the abrupt fear that striked in me thinkin if i got in or not?

12 o'clock came quite a sudden, i didnt realise it, i went up stairs took my sis's laptop from her room, surfed the internet

i clicked on the page that (supposedly) determines my future, then it didnt came up, i knew it was going to take a while as it will be lagging from the many of applicants surfing the same website

and so i went to the friday prayers first, hoping and praying to god, thats the only thing i could do at this last minute

came back, my sister called my name, i went up to her room, i didnt even remembered that the laptop in my room is still on and still refreshing, she told me i didnt get it

i just stood there, i didnt knw what to say, then she showed me the page of the results

NO. KAD PENGENALAN / MYKAD : 910122-**-**** NAMA : AHMAD ZAKI BIN AHMAD ZUBER

Dukacita dimaklumkan bahawa anda TIDAK BERJAYA dalam permohonan kemasukan ke IPTA Program Pengajian Lepasan SPM/Setaraf bagi Sesi Akademik 2009/2010.

i just stood there, as still as a rock untounched, undisturbed, unmovable, then i didnt knw what happened to me, i just went to being mute, i cnt believe it

i didnt get in to any of them, there were 8 choices in that upu thing, and i didnt get any one of em, sad isnt it? my sisters told my parents i didnt get it, and all they can say is

its ok aki, sume orang pernah kene reject gak, along ngan angah pun x dapat jugak

i just nodded, i dnt want to argue, actually i cnt cuz my mind still cnt believe the fact that i didnt get into tesl, then my parents said that

mungkin diorang tgk results aki kot, kan aki cakap ade ramai lagi yg apply pastu yg laen tu plak 5 A ke atas, mungkin diorang tgk yg tu lah kot

owh yeah thanks dad, that made me feel a hell of a lot better, results, argh! i knw my spm results! dnt have to keep reminding me!

i didnt even finished my lunch, i went to my room, shut the door, played my ps2 while surfing the net

then i chatted with jwa for a while, after that sibs told me to get ready cuz we're going to the conchorde hotel instead of sunway resort to celebrate my parents anniversarry

i went for a short swim just to wash myself of the stress so that i could at least put on a happy face for my parents

we went to sacc for dinner, i took a few pics(i might upload them tomorow), then my sibs and i went home and leave our parents in their own room at the hotel

and now im here telling you all this, well thats it, have fun...

later...

from the untouched rock,
z zaki